No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
