why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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