I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
