Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
