She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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