loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
