It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
