Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
