Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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