She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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