He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
