its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
