Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
