I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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