she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Found your dick twin last night
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
