grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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