oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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