We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
