OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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