Already got asked if we're dating
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the day after is always just damage control
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
