Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
