And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You're like the curious george of whores
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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