i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
They have beer where we have blood.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
