well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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