2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
