I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
