WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
