Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
