woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sorry my hands just texted you
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
