Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
