we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
