Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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