my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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