Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
