I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
