You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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