she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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