We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
