yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
