Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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