I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
