Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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