a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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