dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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