She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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