just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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