Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
