You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
