My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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