Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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