No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
