She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
