you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
